Paramārthar Guru Stories.  = Stories of Guru with no worldly experience. Credit to

Constantine Joseph Beschi (8 November 1680 – 4 February 1747), also known under his Tamil name of Vīramāmunivar (வீரமாமுனிவர்), was an Italian Jesuit priest, missionary in South India, and Tamil language littérateur (a literary person, esp. a writer of literary works)..-Wiky

He mastered the Tamil language and published many books with Christian teachings in Tamil under the name Vīramāmunivar. His narrative poem "Dembavani" is famous. In the 18th century, he translated books such as Tirukkural, Devaram, Thiruppugazh and Athichudi into Latin and other languages. Parmathaguru Kathas, which he wrote in Tamil culture, adapted from the comic stories popular in Europe at that time, were famous for their humorous nature and were translated into many Indian languages. 

Vīramāmunivar wrote the Paramārtha Guru stories in Tamil, steeped in humor. The naïve Guru and his five disciples, Matti, Madaiyan, Pēthai, Mūdan, Milēcchan engage in acts, which Paramārtha guru narrates in a story-form with humor. Their names are everyday pejorative monikers in Tamil Nadu to describe people with varying degrees of stupidity.

In this story, the name of the disciples are Mandu, Madaiyan, Moodan, Muttal, Matti... They are synonyms for a simpleton.

Paramartha Guru Stories – The Human-Sacrifice Ascetic
1. Paramartha and his disciples entered a town called Kandhapuram. At that time, the people of the town were in great fear.
2. The reason for their fear was the presence of a human-sacrificing ascetic named Nagappa who roamed in that town!
3. "Guru, whatever we do seems to end in danger for us! Why is that?" asked Matti.
4. "It seems like all of us have committed many sins in our previous lives," replied Paramartha.
5. "Guru, we must immediately find a expiation for this," said the Fool.
6. That night, the guru and his disciples secretly discussed their options.
7. "Guru, if we perform Yagam (sacrifice and oblations) like the sages, all our sins will be washed away," suggested Mūdan.
8. "That would require a lot of money. We can't afford it. Perhaps, we should consider offering a human sacrifice," Paramartha suggested.
9. "Human sacrifice? Oh no!" exclaimed all the disciples in horror.
10. "Disciples, if we want to bring about good times, we have no other option but to offer a human sacrifice," Paramartha declared firmly.
11. "Then who shall we sacrifice?" asked Mandu.
12. "If we try to capture someone else, we might get caught! Therefore… disciples… one of you must be the sacrifice! Who will step forward for this noble act?" Paramartha announced.
13. That was all!
14. "Oh no, if I become the sacrifice, then who will be there to light your Ganja cigars?" Muttal started to cry.
15. "I won't do it," wept Mūdan as well.
16. "Guru, we won't be the sacrifice either," said the other disciples, looking for an escape.
17. Paramartha didn't know what to do. He stroked his beard, deep in thought.
18. "Okay, disciples! None of you need to be sacrificed! Another way has dawned on me. Let's do that," he finally said, settling the matter.
19. The next day, all the disciples roamed around the town boasting, "Our guru is going to make a human sacrifice."
20. This news eventually reached the king of the town. He mistook Paramartha for the human-sacrificing ascetic, Nagappa.
21. "Capture Nagappa and his gang alive by hand and body!" ordered the king.
22. The day for the sacrifice arrived! Paramartha and his disciples were hiding, moving secretly.
23. When they reached the Kali temple at the edge of the town, Paramartha was overjoyed.
24. Seeing the statue (idol) of Badrakali, with a garland of skulls and long, protruding teeth, the disciples shivered in fear. "Oh, Kali! As promised, we are here to offer you a human sacrifice! You must protect us. Jai Kali!" Paramartha prayed, prostrating at the deity's feet.
25. The disciples also prostrated with a loud sudden thud."
26. The palace bells rang to announce midnight.
27. Then, the palace guards, who had been hiding around the temple, sprang into action.
28. "Disciples! Quickly, place the life we've brought onto the sacrificial altar!" urged Paramartha.
29. The disciples hurriedly placed the life they had brought onto the sacrificial altar.
30. "Om... Reem... Bhadrakali!... Here is the human sacrifice!" Paramartha shouted as he swung the sacrificial knife over the altar.
31. Immediately, the palace warriors rushed in and surrounded Paramartha and his disciples.
32. Everyone eagerly looked at the sacrificial altar to see whom Paramartha had sacrificed.
33. There... lay a lizard, cut into two.
34. The palace warriors were shocked and amazed.
35. "Ah, we thought he was a human-sacrificing ascetic. Turns out he's just a lizard-sacrificing ascetic," they said as they took Paramartha and his disciples to the king.
36. "My lord! Why have you arrested us? What wrong have we done?" asked Paramartha.
37. "Offering a human sacrifice is a crime in our country," said the king.
38. "What? Did we offer humans as a sacrifice? We only killed a mere lizard," Paramartha responded.

39. "That's exactly your mistake! The lizard is the totem (குலதெய்வம் = family deity) of our country's people! The emblem on our country's flag is also a lizard! For killing the lizard and dishonoring it, I order all of you to be imprisoned," commanded the king of Kandhapuram.
40. Aiyo! We thought human sacrifice would bring good benefits. It brought us into a danger (calamity). Lamenting, the Guru and his disciples went into the jail.